Teacher: When I was a boy your age I could do sums twice as hard.
Pupil: Yes, but perhaps you had a better teacher.
Teacher: What does £ s d mean?
Pupil: London, Starbeck and Durham, sir!
Teacher: Where are the 'Iron Gates'?
Pupil: I'm not quite sure sir, but I know they were made by Dorman & Long
Old Gent: Did you make that face at me?
Boy: No sir, it was you that walked past it
Youngster: What is can't short for?
Youngster: What is don't short for?
Father Doughnut, my boy!
Mother: Tommy, how on earth did you get so wet?
Tommy: My cap blew in the river and I was in it
Boy to Gent: How long will your watch run without winding it, Sir?
Gent: Oh! About two days, sonny
Boy: I have to wind mine up first
Boy to Teacher: I aint going, Sir!
Teacher: You must not say that, lad, You must say, "I am not going, they are not going" Can you say that?
Boy: Yes, Sir. There aint nobody going!
Alfred: You've got holes in your shoes and your father's a cobbler
Tom: Your father's a dentist and your baby brother has no teeth!
....and one that didn't appear in The Rocket,
Answer to question from the Teacher, "The Equator is an imaginary lion running round the world, Sir"